Do you have your web farm servers setup in CMSSiteManager>Administration>Web farm servers? Do you have a license for the second server in the farm?
In your initial post you are talking about a few different thing as well.
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Web farms*
Content staging*
Scheduled tasksMy guess is once you get web farm sync setup properly you won't have a problem. Also do you have any file replication setup on your server(s) like
Microsoft DFS? I've worked in an environment where we have both DFS setup and a web farm. There were some challenges but once I understood all the pieces and how they worked together, things work like a well oiled machine now.